My account comes from the perspective of concrete practice – from the standpoint of a non-theoretical “realizer” – in the “machine diva field”.
From my perspective today, I grew up without a gender identity. I perceived myself neither as a girl nor a boy, switching sometimes into one form, sometimes the other.
My father liked to tinker and was always taking apart, building and repairing some device or another. I was with him.
Later in my childhood, cars began turning up more and more in our environment as well, and soon I became familiar with all their parts – what and how something was motorically implemented – and I was able to take the individual components apart and put them together, … my attitude was completely uninhibited and rational about the way they fulfilled their task in terms of their technology and the way they functioned.
I liked this functional simplicity, because unfortunately I didn’t understand the social and emotional functions in my surroundings. They scared me.
Consequently, when I started school mathematics appealed to me more than language or fine art. Math was a pleasure for me because of the feeling of supernatural neutrality, a symbolistic infinity per se. On top of that, there was the unplanable uncertainty that makes a linguistic expression intelligible, then even moves our emotions at the next step of intensification. This irritated me at first, then it started to interest me.
The gap between calculable mathematics/technology and the fitting, unexpectable overall effect of art – both still under the auspices of the overall puzzle of “life” – had a strong attraction for me. I wanted to explore that. I thought this would also give me a practical aid for existence.
I never decided to become an artist. The reason why I started to realize things was that, within the limited lifespan that one has, I wanted to become familiar with the world and its possibilities. I wanted to see and experience things for myself. Others always just see the wood shavings, what is left over from working. The real work, though, is the work on one’s education. Sometimes you come home with a trophy from this work – here a find, there a procedure, for example those in the – for me wonderful – experience of the Internet project Siberian Deal, Faces. What drives me, though, is working on toppling my own self-understanding.
Technology is for me a tool and a mechanism for building reality step by step (mechanically and conceptually) in a practical way. I used and studied technology to explore and describe reality.
Hot media – longer term, stable object, aging media
Cold media – unstable but reproducible phenomena – optical presence is usually mechanically produced here …
BODYSCAN I put the hot body on a cold slab and regard it purely mechanically …
I transport it in a cold medium, hoping to gain a speculative experience about myself / about bodies in general / about “life” in its unnameable components.
When what is alive is completely isolated, the body becomes a topology, a geography, an architecture, a plastic object. I had the body scan done, because I thought this step had to be taken. I see Bodyscan as a missing link between technology and classical object art.
Sensing the original person = warm
Not sensing the original person = cold
Concentrating on machines (mechanisms) is concentrating on the structure of thinking.